The insanely boring life…

Tonight I experienced what was probably the most embarrassing moment of my entire life - and the worst part is that I didn’t even cause it.

We went to the Cattle Baron restaurant this evening (me, my grandmother and my grandfather) and we sat down. The waiter was obviously gay, and I have no problem with that, as most people who know me will know. My grandfather, however, is the worlds biggest homophobe. I knew from the moment that he asked us what we wanted to drink that this night could only end in tears.

Well, everything went well for about half an hour. My grandfather asked a lady if he could have another drink because, according to him, the guy was ignoring our table. The lady went to get the drink and brought it to the table. I suppose that is what started it.

She left, and a few moments later the guy came with our food. My grandfather said, “Thank you, madam,” thinking it was the woman who brought him his drink earlier. Me and my grandmother almost died. Sure, my grandfather didn’t look up when the guy spoke, but he didn’t sound THAT MUCH like a lady.

But it got worse. I was talking about how I needed to get out of the country because the career I want to enter has very little interest in South Africa. Theatre. Musical Theatre. At which point my grandfather angrily (and loudly) said, “You know what, everyone in theatre are a bunch of ‘moffies’.”

Now, ‘moffie’ (plural: ‘moffies’) is a very rude Afrikaans word to describe a homosexual person. It is the rudest one out there.

Anyway, I tried to explain that that wasn’t true, but he repeated himself even more loudly. Everyone looked at us, including the waiter. EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT!!! My grandmother and I shrank into the shadows.

When they guy brought us our bill, my grandfather loudly refused to give him any tip for no reason at all other than, I assume, the fact that he is gay.

If I had died right there and then, I would rather have spent an eternity in the fiery depths hell than suffer that humiliation. It was so embarrassing. I can probably never show my face in public again.

Please, someone - have mercy and kill me.